Geoausch

OK kids, here you go, Geoausch’s predictions for the upcoming NFL Season.

Let’s start with the division champions.

AFC East -    New England Patriots (11-5) The Patriot take a giant step back, after a giant let down to finish last season. Brady is gimpy and the Patriots in-game scouting has taken a big hit. They’ll still have enough to win the AFC East, but don’t be surprised if the Patriots do not get a first round bye this season.

AFC North - Pittsburgh Steelers (11-5) The Steelers play in a favorable division and should have no problem with division opponents. Where the Steelers will run into trouble is the NFC East portion of their schedule.

AFC South - Indianapolis Colts (12-4) Once Manning returns and is healthy, the Colts should be able to return to dominance. Another division title, another first round bye and another home playoff loss to end the season.

AFC West -  San Diego Chargers (13-3)  Though Oakland will be improved, Denver is the only team in the division anywhere near the level of the Chargers. Chargers should have home field throughout the playoffs and they will take full advantage of it.

Wild Card -  New Jersey Jets  (10-6)  Favre has an immediate impact on already improving team.

                   Jacksonville Jaguars (10-6) The best 2^nd place team in the NFL.

NFC East -  Dallas Cowboys (14-2)  You’re damn right I’m biased.

NFC North – Minnesota Vikings (10-6) Packers slip after losing Favre. Vikings defense should be one of the best in the NFL. If you run the ball and stop the run, you will win a lot  of games. At some point, you do have to throw  and that will be the downfall of the Vikings.

NFC South -  New Orleans Saints (8-8) Weak conference produces the weakest of conference champions.

NFC West -  San Francisco 49ers (9-7)  49ers will finish tied with the Seahawks for the West title. However, the 49ers will win the division on tie breakers.

Wild Card -  Philadelphia Eagles (11-5) Philly will be improved with McNabb healthy.  Phans will be as sorry as ever. Phuck Philly!

                     New York Giants (9-7)    Giants get in as a wild-car again, but cannot repeat the magic of last year’s post-season.

AFC Championship -  Chargers over Jets – Favre performs a miracle and leads Jets to AFC Championship game. However, the Jets are no match for the Chargers.

NFC Championship -   Cowboys over Eagles – Phuck Philly!

Super Bowl XLIII -   Cowboys over Chargers – Sure, it’s a fashionable pick, but I did pick the 49ers to win their division.

With my love of politics, I should blog about Sarah Palin’s rivoting speech tonight at the Republican Convention. However, I feel I need more time to let Governor Palin’s words seep in before issuing a critique. Let’s just say that I’m glad to see someone else step up and confront Barack Obama head-on.

Instead, I thought tonight I would lighten the mood a bit and discuss something that has been on my mind for a while. Escalators!

Yes, on this historical night, I choose to talk about escalators over politics. After all, though I may not agree with his fascist politics, I can understand Barack Obama. He’s a college student that never grew up, something I tried to do until I turned 27. However, I still cannot understand the point in moving stairs.

In order to get from my parking garage to my office building, I have to use at least two sets of escalators, and three if I choose to get breakfast on the way to work. I’m a fast paced guy who doesn’t like wasting time in transit. If I have some place to be, I want to get there as quickly as possible. Ironically, it is this apparatus invented to ease movement, that hiniders mine and slows me down.

First, no matter where I am, if I get on an escalator, I get behind people who refuse to move faster than the stairs. They seem content to move at the snail’s pace escalators are designed to transport us and no matter how hurried I may look, how loud I may huff and puff, these people aren’t going to move an inch faster than the stairs will allow.

This brings me back to my original question. Why do we need escalators?

Would it not make more sense, and be far more healthy, to have stationary stairs instead of escalators? In this litigious age of the Americans With Disabilities Act, almost all of our buildings and public places are designed either with elevators or other means for handicaped individuals to move around a particular area. Anyone physically unable to use stairs would have an alternative and even the extremely lazy would have a way out of burning calories, but for those of us who like to buy a cup of coffee on the walk to work and get to our desks before that cup gets cold, the path would be free of at least one obstacle.

Seriously, is there something I missing with escalators?